This time last year, I was still living in the Netherlands, contemplating whether to return back to Bulgaria or not. By the end of January, this desicion had already been a done deal and as the end of February approached, I started selling all my stuff and preparing for my move back home. It’s almost a year later and I can safely say, I don’t regret it for even a second. As I touched down back in Sofia, I never could’ve expected how much my life would change and what great opportunities I would have to not only turn back into myself, but also meet new, amazing people that would feel like a community to me. A community I had so desperately longed for after spending so much of my time in the Netherlands alone.
To be completely honest, I was a bit afraid. What would happen when I moved back? How would life change? What was I getting into living life without a meticulous plan for working somewhere or at least getting income. It was scary stuff, but now it feels almost natural. And since it feels like New Year’s Eve was just yesterday and there was a lot of great things to reflect on in 2024, I think it’s nice and fun to go back in time and see what life was like for me since my move back home. For the sake of this post, I will start right at the beginning in March and try to summarise each month the best I can. So bare with me as explore what my life was like after my life-shattering, mind-altering jump into the void of possibility.
March 2024
March was a lot about falling in love with my old city again. Thing is, after I left it a few years ago there was rarely a time when I would visit it for a longer time. From celebrating my mom’s 50th birthday to going out on the town with my bestie, there was no better welcome wagon than this. And even though I was newly unemployed without a solid plan moving forward (which was actually a first in my life), I chose to take my time and enjoy every minute of it. It was also a turning point in the relationship with my boyfriend, since we became a couple right as I came back home. Actually, our anniversary is on March 1st, 2024.
This first month was a rollercoaster because I contracted a mysterious flu-type sickness that felt horrible to the core of it. I was aching all over and felt horrible, but frankly maybe that was my body in a way decompressing from the stress. I felt weird about my schedule, the fact I had no work responsibilities for the first time in recent years and that I could now do what I wanted to. It felt a bit scary to be honest, but it was compensated by the hopes of getting some tax returns back from the Netherlands and the friends I had around me at most times. Also, for the first time in ages I was close to my puppies, who were very happy to see me and likely didn’t believe I would stay for that long but… surprise!
All in all, it was a dream. I spoke to my Dutch therapist in the middle of the month, sort of wrapping up our sessions for good since I no longer resided there. We had agreed to talk online or in person, depending on what I decided to do with my life. He was plesantly surprised I had in fact gone through with my move to Bulgaria, had a boyfriend who was nice for me and I was aiming for the win by following my dream life. It does sound too good to be true and trust me, back then it felt like it too. But still, just moving back home I had almost no concept of what awaited for me in 2024. All I had was the hope that it would be awesome.
April 2024
April started with an adventure and ended with one as well. With spring blossoming and everything coming back to life, we also got an energetic revamp for the year. In the first days of the month, I got invited to the “Live with Love” children’s village which is located nearby my village. I got to sit in and help out with an art plein air taking place, but also I just got to talk with the students who attended it and feel right at home in the beautiful nature surrounding the complex. It was sunny and relatively warm, except it was still a bit cold at night. Sleeping in one of the oldest parts of this renovated old farm, I got to keep warm with wood fire and live life a bit more peacefully, since here was barely any internet or cellphone reception. This set the stage for this year, since I kind of fell in love with it.
While I spent time there, it was my job to brainstorm how we could best help the complex thrive in all seasons. The thing is, while in the summer there are a lot of people and kids coming around, but in winter or in bad weather days, not a lot of people want to come around. So I was there to gather inspiration in an effort to change this. And during that time, I also asked myself a very key question: “What if we go the European Youth Exchange route?”. I spoke to a friend who went on a lot of European programmes and he shared about his experience with organising them. But still, I had no clue how any of it worked so one night I made a wish to learn more about it. If it was meant to be, I said, let me learn about it and experience it first hand. Little did I know, but that night and with that wish, I was actually manifesting it.
By the end of the month, things picked up. Elena, the woman who founded the children’s village reached out to me with a suggested contact. It was this lady from some organisation that wanted to send Elena to some course about permaculture, but since Elena didn’t have time, she referred me instead. Turns out the invitation for that permaculture course was only for Elena and the lady refused to have anyone else go in her place, since Elena had to join her organisation. However, there was another opportunity. There was one last-minute cancellation for a European Solidarity Corps volunteering in Tramonti, Italy and since a spot had opened, I could apply and go. But there’s a catch! As we were having this conversation on a Wednesday, the departure date was the very next Monday. Shocked and apalled but excited, I did all that was required and even got to find the right flight, so I got to fly with the other Bulgarian girl.
Of course, I was super anxious. Given this was something I had wished to experience though, it was an amazing opportunity nonetheless. And while I had been tired of flying, there was something in me that was calling me to go. So, without further ado, I packed my stuff and took off for Italy.
May 2024
Oh boy, was Italy amazing! The place I went to is called Tramonti and is situated right above the Amalfi coast. While I had already been to Amalfi as a teenager with my parents, I had no clue a place like Tramonti even existed. The story goes that during the erruption of mount Vesuvius, which can totally be seen from the mountains there, ash covered all of this land. While it wiped out crops, animals and even part of the local population, it did make the soil incredibly fertile for the generations to come. Our task was to help with the building of an eco center in the chestnut woods, owned by one of our hosts from ACARBIO — a local non-profit helping protect the region’s biodiversity. We worked together with people from across Europe (and the world), while also collaborating with building experts from COB in Greece, who were also very fun to work with.
This experience blew my mind and made me feel like I was a part of a bigger community of like-minded individuals. In all my time spent in the Netherlands, I hadn’t even once met someone who aligned with my values and ideas so perfectly. Here, there was not one but many people with whom I spoke about all sorts of amazing out-of-the-box topics. Given that it was so last minute, I really think it was a fated event and I’m so incredibly grateful for having the opportunity to be part of it. We made amazing progress on the house and at the end of our stay, even the trees had started blooming. I also got to swim in the sea for the first time in 2024, which was quite refreshing given that it was the beginning of May. After spending 2 weeks in Tramonti, worked through sun and through rain, kept myself from getting sick and conversing with amazing, lovely people, I returned to Bulgaria refreshed and ready to take on the world.
Upon returning, there were a few days spent home and then I went to my village to spend time with the puppies while my parents were away. This is where the next wonderful event come to place — the finding of Rory. While I was talking to one of my best friends who’s all the way in China, a man called out from the street. I went to see who’s there as he held up a small puppy and asked “Is this your dog?”. I was intrigued. While my friend was dealing with things at her job, I scurried down to meet the man and take a look at the puppy. Well, it seems one look was enough because after briefly debating whether to take him with me, I did just that. I washed him, warmed him by the fire and then stood still as he slept in my lap, trying my hardest to not wake him up from his sleep. He was truly adorable and there was no way I would let him go back out on the street. Luckily, my boyfriend also liked him, so now he became our responsibility. The loveliest and cutest one at that.
June 2024
Then came June. The month in which I was born, but also a month filled with a lot of adventures. Still fueled with inspiration and a love for manual labour that emerged from my ESC volunteering in Tramonti, I hopped on the “picking cherries” train and invited my boyfriend for it too. We were picking cherries near the village, but let me tell you — it’s not super easy to earn a living doing that. However, this was the perfect excuse to live in a village for a while together. It was also quite fun, since it was progressively getting warmer, sunnier and more lively outside. The cherries were delicious, but to be fair, it did feel like I ate way too many of them in the end. We were spending a lovely time in the countryside though and that’s when things started to solidify — maybe moving to a village was the right thing for us after all! It was beautiful, serene, quiet and the air quality was something we could never get in the city. We even hung out with my cousin and his family, so it was really cool to be there.
But, no matter how pretty and fun it was in the village, we did end up going back to our place near Sofia by the end of the month. The reason being my birthday! I officially turned 30 in 2024 and it was something I both anticipated and dreaded all along. Thing is, I was mostly looking forward getting some friends to visit me and it was just as awesome as anticipated. First, there was Sergiu who visited from the Netherlands. We collected him from the airport and then had a nice grill dinner at home, while the next day, after picking up Anfisa, we went to explore downtown Sofia. It was so much fun to have two foreign guests who had never visited Bulgaria before! I’m also proud to say that both of them wanted to come again, since they loved the culture and the food so not to brag, but I think my friends and I might be really good tour guides.
The party was epic and I have very little photos of it, which shows the proportions of its epicness. The neighbors even cut down their trees in the following days and I firmly believe they did so so they can also be a part of the next party. There was music, dancing, a fair share of drama and frankly, I think I’m falling for the entertainer role. As someone who rarely ever hosted or organised her birthday parties in her 20s, I think my 30s might be the time to shine. All in all, it was a lovely night and the next two days were spent exactly how I like them — together with friends in a post-party haze. Not only did Anfisa and Sergiu stay over a bit longer, as recommended, but two other friends (Adi and Deni) plus my boyfriend stayed over as well. Honestly, my favourite part of any party is the afterparty and this one was definitely timeless and just so much fun. But that too came to an end and as we dropped off Sergiu at the airport, we started getting ready for our next adventure — the Wake Up festival.
July 2024
I had heard about the Wake Up festival a while ago, when I was still in the Netherlands. Back then though, I had doubts if I would ever go there to begin with. Fast forward a few months and there I was, travelling with my boyfriend on our way to this fresh new experience. To say I had no anxiety was an understatement. In fact, I had previously told myself that I wanted to go, but just wasn’t sure what it’s like and if I needed to go, I would meet someone who’s been there. Well, turns out Bo, the other Bulgarian I went to Tramonti with was also a volunteer at Wake Up and had been at the festival for the past few years. When she told me about it, I got to ask all my questions and she reassured me that it’s really awesome and I would enjoy it. We even saw each other there. So the moral of the story is that when you ask, the universe delivers. But it’s not always that easy. Even though I tried really hard to keep calm and not feel anxious, it still crept through the cracks of my subconcious.
And while I was anxious for a lot, like the travel, the place, the people and all of the unknowns, it turns out there was nothing to worry about. Everyone was super nice, we made new friends some of which live close to our village house and the nature was simply mesmerising. We even missed the huge rain, as we came a day after it. But one of my absolutely favourite things was the programme. As a huge nerd, one of my favourite things was getting up in the morning, going for a hot chocolate and then proceeding to one of the woods to follow a day full of lectures, workshops and activities. At night, there was always some type of music and we even stumbled on a heat lodge. Life was good. Everything felt magical. In fact, it felt like we were swimming in a pool of synergy where we didn’t have to talk or call each other on our phones — we could simply read eachothers’ minds. There were days when I didn’t wear my contacts, days when I didn’t care to charge my phone and days I felt one with nature as the sun softly grazed my face. It was such a healing experience that I couldn’t help but be grateful for everything coming into place for it.
After we came back, we almost immediately travelled back to my cousin’s village house, which is located very close to our village. Since their house is currently more livable, we stayed there for the month, and together with Rory, my cousin and his parents, enjoyed the slower side of life. My cousin works remotely, so during the day he was busy but at night we cooked dinner, watched movies and played the occasional board game. His girlfriend joined too for a while and it was honestly an amazing experience. As kids, we were always dreaming of living at our village for a longer time or simply reconnecting to it occasionally, so this was a dream come true. Every weekend, his parents came to visit us so it became a tradition to make some nice food, sit outside and enjoy the sound of crickets, foxes and every once in a while — the music our neighbours played. At the end of the day, what I didn’t know then was that this was also some the last moments we were spending with my cousin’s dad, who had unfortunately had terminal cancer. Still, in the bliss of the summer, we got to travel, to meet new friends and I got to volunteer and eventually prepare for what was supposed to be my long-term volunteer project for a Bulgarian non-profit organisation.
August 2024
At the start of August, we ventured forth to the absolutely beautiful farm Veles in Slovenia for the ‘Leader in Me’ training course, which was part of Erasmus+. This was a wonderful adventure, which of course started off with quite a bit of anxiety for me, but slowly and surely I eased into it and let me tell you — it was so much fun. It was different than my volunteering experience in Tramonti, as it’s mostly focused on non-formal education and personal development. The group was also huge, as we had about 25 people from various countries in Europe, which doesn’t even include the volunteers helping with the back-end organisation. The sights were also spectacular, as we were surrounded by nature, animals and greenery. The first night greeted us with the wildest storm I had seen in a while, but every day since then was sunny and plesant as the people hosting us.
We slept in tents, made new friends and learnt a lot about ourselves in the process. This course was a part of a two-course series, which is an innovative concept in Erasmus+ world. So, in addition to having all of these experiences with the people now, we were also aware that we would meet most of them again after the course. After days of self-reflection, meditation, leadership exercices and amazing food, we were incredibly sad to leave this paradise. Thing is, it felt like a community. I had wondered what it felt like to cohabitate with so many people and honestly, this was something I was missing for the last few years. Not only did this experience make me a better person, it it also helped me realise there is so much potential in living closer to nature and other people. By the middle of it, I got sick and as a result stopped smoking. I knew this would happen sooner or later, but was plesantly surprised that my boyfriend also quit with me. By the end of the trip, we gifted our tobacco to a newfound friend as we decided to stop smoking for good.
After coming back from Slovenia, we made our way to our village once again. We slept in a tent, worked on cleaning out our house and making way with throwing out all the garbage that had been stuck there for ages. I was also officially a volunteer now, which contrary to what I had thought wasn’t half as fulfilling as my other European programme experiences. It was remote, so I got to stay alone at my village and that was great, but it also meant I didn’t really have strict working hours. I may be done with my hours for the day and the lady from the organisation would reach out to chat and it would take a few more hours. At one point, I started getting angry with random things. This of course reminded me of my burnout, as I felt like my energy was syphoning. I didn’t feel motivated to do a lot, volunteering felt like a chore and it didn’t help that working remotely wasn’t even allowed according to the official EU regulations. Slowly, I started regretting my decision but still wanted to give the lady the benefit of the doubt. After all, she did support me for going to Tramonti and then Veles, so why couldn’t I do her this favour by filling the place of someone who decided to end their volunteering early?
Around this time, I also started doing “The Artist’s Way” which is quite significant, since it felt like a saving grace in times when I felt like my puropose was lacking. I was back working hours on my laptop for someone else and even though it was back in Bulgaria and at my village, it didn’t feel much better. Starting in the very last week of August, on a whim, this proved to be the very best decision. As it guided me through my frustrations, it helped me turn them into something I could deal with by turning worry into solid action.
September 2024
Starting September off strong, the first weeks welcomed huge changes in my volunteering routine. First of all, I spent hours on end translating a huge document. The people previously in charge of it had taken their sweet time, so now it was overdue, an absolute formatting mess and up to me to deliver it on time. And after that, joy! We were going to a training course by the sea. This was super exciting and I did get to meet some interesting people, but my expectations might’ve been too high based on the other trainings I had been to. I also couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was something off about the organisation that I was volunteering for. While we were all free guests at its chairwoman’s pity party, the organisation she led didn’t seem to care a lot about people’s time or resources. The same time and resources they used to benefit her organisation, sometimes even against their will.
In full honesty, this isn’t even half of it but I’m not one to complain and. It’s part of my story arc. Thanks to my morning pages and the Artist’s Way journey, I was gracious enough to recognise what wasn’t for me. So, naturally, I thought it would be in everyone’s best interest for me to leave. And so I did. I read my agreement, saw the clauses concerned and let the lady know I would be resigning from my volunteering duties right away. I also returned the money and got ready to leave that very same day. Turns out that during a storm that morning, the tent of the woman I carpooled with had leaked, soaking her and all of her belongings. Naturally, she was tired and wanted to go home, so I took the opportunity to do the same. After all, she had previously shared she was anxious about travelling at night, so it was the perfect opportunity to be her company.
Leaving there and quitting my volunteering felt amazing. It took me a few days to recover energetically, but in the end I was so grateful for my bravery. It honestly felt like my energy was being syphoned, but I chose to put it all behind me and focus on better things. For the next few weeks, I stayed near Sofia just in case they needed me to sign any documents, but nobody reached out. In that time though, I started making bread and got to can some veggies for winter. Firstly, there was tomato sauce and then lyutenitsa — a traditional Bulgarian spread. I also went to a friend’s birthday celebration, which was a fun way to experience party life again and let me tell you, it pays to be sober. Since I rarely drink alcohol, I had my car with me and it was super fun (and tasty) since the bar we went to had homemade lemonade. Plus, I got to play cab and take my cousin and his girlfriend home after the party. But my time in the city was coming to an end…
October 2024
As October came along, I was off to my new life in the village. This was a first for me, as I had never really lived in a village outside of the oh-so-popular summer season. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was actually and amazing experience that even further solidified my desire to live in a rural area. Every day, as my boyfriend was working, I would make a tea or cicory coffee and go on a walk with our dog. Then, I would get home, feed the pup and myself and get to work on my own projects. Together with doing the Artist’s Way, I made a nice little habit of daily exploration around the village. It was also incredibly cute that the homeless pups really liked us too, so every time we would go on a walk they’d come with us as well.
Another beautiful thing about living in a village was the fact that everything is so calm. There were almost no people on the streets and whenever there were any, they were usually quite nice. I met a few grannies, with whom I spoke for multiple hours on end. At one point, I was a bit worried to go out because I might meet someone and talk to them for hours. This of course passed and I started discovering new places in my village that I never even knew existed. As the weather was getting colder, we started lighting the fireplace. It was so cozy and warm at night when we had just cooked dinner and sat down to eat next to the booming fire. I got to read a lot, write a lot and discover a lot about myself, my boyfriend and my village. Also, it was such a privilige to be able to walk our dog out in the streets with no leash, hike up the mountain and forage rosehip when it was available.
And while we were occasionally going back to Sofia for a day or two, it was usually on the weekend. Most of the time we spent at one of our villages. It was a lot of fun to visit the nearby city as well, and to also visit a friend of ours who runs a children’s village in the next village over. She always hosts amazing events and gathers so many people from the region. During this time there, I felt like I was getting stronger and more capable. My mind was becoming even more calm and aware, my body was getting stronger despite some pain I had in my foot and the food was amazing. All in all, it was an amazing time that solidified my love for this region and also for village people in general. There is something about them that makes them kinder than city-dwellers and I really appreciate that.
November 2024
As November came, it was about time to pack up and return to the city. It was in a few weeks that we were leaving for our second Slovenian adventure, this time in the northern Slovenian mountains above Ruše. On our way there, we got to stay at a friend’s place in Belgrade. And then we picked her and another girl up so we can travel together to our final destination: Pohorje. On the night we arrived, there was so much fog we could barely see the turns on the road. A few days later though, the weather cleared and we finally saw the beautiful place we were staying at, pictured above. Later that same week, we also saw our first snow of the season and it was so incredibly wonderful to be surrounded by so many friends from different countries.
The course itself was also very empowering, as we learnt how to facilitate non-formal education and took part in multiple workshops, exercises and discussions on the matter. We also forcussed a lot on reflection, which is a very important aspect of learning anything new. On our free day, we went to see a waterfall and frankly, mountain walks in Slovenia are intense. We took what was called the “easy path” which ended up being quite extreme, as we got to cross waterfalls and climb up to reach bridges. It was wonderful and such a wholesome experience. What was also amazing was the breathwork exercise we did afterwards. Our host, Dušan was an expert in the ‘rebirthing’ breathwork technique and that was such an amazing, freeing experience. I’m also so grateful that I got to talk to him beforehand, as we conversed about spiritual awakening, living closer to nature and discovering one’s true self.
After we left Pohorje, I truly felt like a brand new person. All my previous worries had faded away and I was ready to embrace life again, but after I healed. As with every gathering that involves people coming from different places, this one too had some people not on top of their health. This time, it wasn’t me but my boyfriend who got sick first. And with sniffy noses and sore throats, we went back home to rest, recover and heal. A great thing was that we were now non-smokers for more than 3 months, so recovery was quick and easy. We also overhumidified our room, which led to more complications later on. But, one thing’s for sure — we were grateful and happy for the experience. Now, with this amazing adventure behind our backs and a bag of goodies to bring back home to our loved ones, we prepared to spend the next few months back in the city where we are now.
December 2024
Finally, December was upon us. Looking back at this year, it felt like it was a decade — so many things changed but we were not there yet. I honestly don’t remember a lot about December, even though it was right around the corner. For one, I spent a lot of time back home, reminiscing and working on getting this website up and running. I also spent time with friends, went to a Christmas market with my mom and wondered what to get people around me. To be fair, I don’t like to indulge in the consumerism of the holidays, but at the same time it was wonderful to gift someone something, even if it was small. Outside, it was getting darker and gloomier, so instead of pushing myself to be as productive as most months, I just let go and enjoyed the darkness.
We cooked cozy meals, had a cozy vibe and spent a lot of time cuddling with our puppies. Of course, my boyfriend was still working and spending time outside, but little old me spent a lot of time indoors, as I believe that’s part of the beauty of the seasons. When the holidays came, we actually spent them together for the very first time. In our traditions, Christmas Eve is a dinner to be held with the immediate family, and then Christmas Day is for the extended family as well. Since my grandparents passed away, I now spent both days with just my immediate family — until this year. Yes, we actually got to introduce my parents to my boyfriend’s parents on Christmas and it was an amazing experience. It felt really funny, since my boyfriend and I had never introduced our parents to our partner’s parents. So, essentially, both sides were nervous about it but in the end it was very fun and I believe they will become closer with time.
Since having a big family is all I ever wanted, this is an amazing season to start. At New Years we had a choice of whether to spend it with my family or not, but in the end we decided that spending it with my family was the coziest option. Lately, I had started to feel a bit sick and I didn’t really feel like travelling or meeting with new people. For the celebration, we had more than 15 guests, a whole roasted pig and so many different meals, that it almost felt overwhelming. As the clock struck midnight, we popped the champagne and everyone gave each other cheers. I, myself, was coddling my little dog Baby, who’s very much afraid of loud bangs and noises. She was trembling so bad, it felt horrible to let her go and go give cheers instead of holding her. After that, we also went to wish our other puppy Rory a Happy New Year and I got to see my best friend, who also spent her NYE at home with her parents.
And that’s a wrap!
I’m really curious what life has in store for me in 2025. Looking at 2024 and how it started and went for me, it’s honestly crazy that so much happened just in a year. Writing out this recap of the year has been incredibly therapeutic and it feels amazing to be able to put things into perspective in such a way. Now, I only hope to have a lot of new adventures in the coming year. After all, this is what life is all about for me now. I am so incredibly grateful for all of the experiences and look forward to summarise them again next year, since this is proving to be a lot of fun.
Hope you had a fun read and it didn’t feel too long!
Love,
Alex 🙂
