It was 2022 and for some odd reason, I spiralled on a mission to learn everything I could about September 11th, 2001. I was just a child when it happened and barely understood the gravity of the situation. The years that followed saw global economics and relations becoming increasingly grimmer, as in one way or another the backlash enveloped the entire world. It’s one of those things that have consequences. Now, it’s eerie to imagine there was lax security at airports beforehand. People could also walk into the airplane cockpit too. But my biggest shock comes from what happened within the towers themselves. From people being told to stay put even though their lives could be in danger, to the eventual inevitability of the jumpers’ demise… it all felt so tragic to know. In fact, when I was a kid, I didn’t remember hearing about the jumpers on television. It was this information alone that sent me into a weeks-long spiral as I contemplated what I was doing with my life.
See, the most tragic thing about this in my point of view was that people were there not entirely by their own will but also by their obligation. Of course, there were those who loved their jobs or were managers, company owners and visitors, but most of the people worked there to provide for their families. The same families who lost them on that damning day. A day that started like any other. The most tragic thing of all was the people who were left there were good people, who followed their orders to stay put. People, whose managers threatened to fire them if they even so dared as left. People like you, like me, who have life outside of the workplace. Life that was probably more important to them. And of course, there were the people who were unfortunately placed in the wrong circumstance. Whose offices just-so-happened to be placed on the higher floors of the building, leaving them with no other chance but to perish. It was a matter of luck. A missed plane, a missed train, a stop to get some coffee or just your alarm not ringing. It’s one of those cases when misdirection is divine protection and it shows.
The thing is, what’s not often talked about is employees of the affected companies coming back to work after the events. According to a study, which is the only reliable source of information I managed to find, a few things were done to help people deal with the immense trauma. And to a big extent, that involved coming back to work. I mean, at that point people still liked their jobs and companies seemed like they truely cared about their employees. They probably had benefits, a sufficient salary and a lot more incentives to work unlike now, when corporate culture is at its all time low. This is back in a time where capitalism was still reaching its peak and those people probably felt instrumental to their companies’ success. This, as the study also shows, gave them purpose and a reason to do what they do in memory of the colleagues they have lost. And while some people would’ve preferred to stay with their families, most of them said it made them feel better to share time with people who understood the situation from a first-hand perspective. People who were also there and saw what they saw.
What I can take out of this study is that people feel better when they are in a community, surrounded by other people. It was the social interaction and sharing in these moments of communion that made going back to the office worthwhile. In that same breath though, we can probably say that the rush back to work surely made some people quite uncomfortable too. As one person reports, ‘it was easier to deal with it because we were busy’. I relate to this a lot, since right as I moved back to the Netherlands to work, my grandfather passed away. The first few weeks, all I did was plunge into my worklife because it made me feel better to do something meaningful. Yes, that meant going to work on the day right after he passed away and silently crying in a corner at the office, hoping nobody would think it was about work. At that point I had no clue how to deal with loss in my close family. While it helped that I wasn’t in the old, familliar environment, working hard just to cover it up eventually ballooned into much big of a problem. Without the possibility to relax, I was on a constant treadmill of working in order to avoid what I was feeling and nobody else had the same experience as me.
But the thing is, we’re talking of two entirely different situations. In no way can my loss compare to the 9/11 attacks and the enormous loss and trauma so many people had to endure. Then again, nobody is comparing. All I’m saying is that loss needs time, distance and space to process it. This is something I learnt later on and honestly feel like losing my grandmother was a situation I handled with a lot more grace, even though she was closer to be than my grandfather. But the issue is this: by insisting on a return to office, most of these companies are doing themselves favours more than they are doing their workers favours. For example, had they had a community space meeting where they just get to chat and share in a group therapy setting, the social healing aspect would still be kept. Instead though, what companies apparently opted for was having a therapist or psychiatric professional on-site. This, while also effective, strongly implies that workers are encouraged to continue work as usual in order to regain a sense of normalcy and control. And as good of a thought as that is, sometimes it’s hard not to consider how taking the time to not work would affect their bottom line.
Arguably, nowadays, there is a lot more corporate propaganda than in 2001. For example, when recovering for burnout they also told me that I needed to get back to work as soon as possible in order to gain a sense of normalcy and get back to ‘normal’ life. The thing is, ‘normal’ for them was not what I had imagined. So in my experience, quitting work worked better than returning to the office ever could. It was like accepting a life of quiet conformity for an organisation that was not particularly interested in my well-being (or that of others) to begin with. And if you’re asking yourself why, let me just say that other people were also going through a lot and I was not the only burnt out person in the company at that time. As it later turned out, there was a lot of people and even my company doctor told me to leave if I can.
The question here is different. After diving deep into the horrible events of 9/11, I realised something. If I were to die, I would rather it be while I was doing something on my own accord. Not working for the bills or going somewhere because I ‘have to’. Not in an office and definitely not while I was doing my job. If we look at these statistics, there’s a graph showing what people enjoy doing the most. Unsurprisingly, looking for a job and having a job are one of the least enjoyed activities. Not only do people spend more time with their colleagues than with their family, friends or children, but apparently working also amounts to 1/3 of a person’s life. Now let that sink in. By design, one third of our lives are spent working. I say ‘by design’ because someone created it this way. They’ll say, ‘yes, but people worked a lot more in the 1870s’ but who knows how much they worked before the industrialisation?
There is a difference between working for your own survival by farming, hunting and foraging, versus working for your own survival by sitting at a desk and crunching numbers for some corporation, that will then give you money so you can buy your necessities at the supermarket. These necessities are of course owned by corporations, which also make your consumption possible. You then go to your house or apartment, built with the help of more materials from corporations and also furnished by such. There is no escaping it. We get paid for the work we do just so we can spend money that goes to those we do the work for. This is what I realised. Half of my salary went to rent and necessary expenses, then the other half went to buying stuff so I can survive. And there was no other choice. That’s the exact boot they keep on people’s necks. With capitalism the world goes to shit, but without it people would not have the means to consume and would have to start creating instead.
But creating is daunting. We don’t really have a lot of time and space for that if we’re busy with a normal 9-to-5 job, since it’s more like a 8-to-6 arrangement if we factor in the commute, and even longer if they don’t count the time you take off for lunch. They never teach us that in school either. In my school, no matter how fancy and private it was, we learnt all about maths, languages, history, biology and a lot of other things. What we didn’t learn was gardening, cooking, creative thinking, natural medicine or anything that could help us survive in a post-capitalist society. We didn’t learn how to weave baskets or work with our hands, neither did we woodwork or build a house. Graduating, we felt educated and ready to begin our lives, but frankly I didn’t even learn how to study, since I was just smart enough to pass. The moral of the story is that we never truly learnt how to be independent and assert our freedom. At the expense of that, we learnt to keep quiet, sit down and not confront anyone with more authority than us because that would just get us into trouble.
Here comes the biggest tragedy of 9/11 — if people in the South Tower ignored what they were told, they may have come out alive. I repeat: if people in the South Tower chose not to listen to the Port Authority or their managers and had chosen to evacuate instead, they would’ve probably left the building in time to save their lives. There is not a more blatant issue with corporations and modern-day society than this one. It might be a bit sad that in days as enlightened as these, people still choose to blindly follow authority and see their opinions as something more important than their own. But you know what? It’s even more outrageous that these companies, managers, authorities or whatever still have the audacity to think that you are ‘expected’ to follow them no matter what. The fact is you sign a contract and have to do the best to fulfill it, but it often creeps beyond the legal and into the social. It’s a social norm to stay put when your manager tells you to. It’s a norm to not challenge their opinion when they’re higher than you on the imaginary hierarchy of your corporation. It’s socially accepted. Therefore, the opposite isn’t.
My biggest awakening came when I realised that the company I thought had my back didn’t care about me at all. In the past, they might’ve pretended better. The story I was made to believe growing up was a good one. It showed companies as the heroes of the modern world, providing services and products to the people of the world. The world that stood still as the employees of these same companies perished with nobody being able to do a thing. With the final call of some of their authorities being to sign their workers death penalty. So my question came as such — when would my penalty be signed? When, despite my loyalty, would I be thrown to the trenches because something I did or said contradicted the social contract I don’t remember signing? If it happens to others, it can happen to us. And then, just like that, it’s just another work day. Going to work now helps you heal. Capitalism is the remedy when the cure for alcoholism is more alcohol. When the cure for drug addiction is an overdose. When ruining the planet on the pretence of saving it is a fallacy.
But it’s not. None of these corporations are doing us or themselves any favours. Yet we excuse them and vouch for them, saying they’re the good guys because of all the opportunities they give us. If any, they give us the opportunity to consume which in this day and age can be considered a privilige as more and more people are struggling to afford basic necessities. But if we strip them away from their power, we can see them as they truly are. It’s not that one chooses to work, but that they have to and they’ve been primed and conditioned to do so since a very young age. They entice you with the bells and whistles, your ‘dream job’, the unique chance to make a difference and then they tell you that ‘things have always been like this’. You better sit down, be quiet and try not to make a noise. Your efforts and inputs are greatly appreciated, but they will make the final decision with or without your contribution in mind. And while a few years ago I scoffed at the “I don’t dream of labour” trend, now I support it. Because if we can die at any moment, then we might be better off working on our own terms, creating what we love and spending time with friends and loved ones. After all, this is what life is supposed to all be about.
While I’m certainly convinced that while homesteading requires a lot of hard work as well, it involves movement, fresh air and animals. That certainly beats sitting on a desk all day, hunched over under flourescent lighting while you’re expected to be looking at a screen for 8 hours for a third of your life. This is why I’ve now made a decision to live closer to nature and enjoy every moment I can in the ways that I want to. While there is still time until we get to move to our village house and it’s currently winter, I’m still spending time outside the city and loving it. After quitting my job, I’ve focused on finding myself and realising who I am beyond the job title. Now, my life is a lot slower and filled with the things that I enjoy doing. Yes, writing is certainly one. And while I was traumatised from it for a while, I’m now getting into a better routine of creating rather than selling. It’s certainly different from what I’ve learnt growing up, but at the end of the day my goal is self-sufficiency. Disillusioned with the corporate world, I now see it has nothing more to offer me than news, entertainment and the everpresent belief that more people are getting disillusioned with it too. May all its victims rest in peace.
Alex
